It was a week of B’s once again. But this time, blockbusters, basketball, boats, beaches, bisque, binging, ballet, burns, brawls, bazaars, broken-bones, bungys, bowls and boo-hoos. Read on for details.

I’ll admit it, occasionally I’m a little slow on jumping on the bandwagon, I normally try to lead the sheep, or at least take a different route, but in this instance the sheep had already left, done a full days trek and set up camp for the night. I saw the kiwi made movie “Eagle vs Shark” last week. It will become a worldwide blockbuster I feel sure. Flight Of The Conchords main character, and Danny Watson 80’s retro look-alike, Jemaine Clement, was sensational, as was his co-lead, Loren Horsley (who doesn’t look like anyone I can think of off-hand). Many people of worth have compared the movie to Napolean Dynamite, this isn’t fair at all; It’s 60, 70, 100 times better. It’s funny (I suspect those from overseas may not get some of the subtle wisecracks though), superbly typecast, the locations chosen in all instances were believable and ideal, and it was perfect in length for those of us with ADD (83 minutes).

Full of beans on Thursday I headed to the North Shore Events Centre. I wanted to see the Breakers win their first game of the season. When the team bounded out from the locker-room I only recognized 1 player from last season, what a re-shuffle. The lack of cohesion showed, we were only ahead for about a minute in the first quarter, and ended lacking the points needed to crack it to the Razorbacks. No player stood out as being particularly good, or bad, just the ref really who made some shocking calls. A big plus at the basketball is the crowd-pleasing entertainment: two cheerleading squads doing flips and pyramids, a full marching percussion team drummed throughout from a stage in the rafters, the regular Breaker Girls and Cheeky (Breakers mascot), half-court competitions, tricycle obstacles races… it was all on.

Where are houses commonly mistaken for vineyard estates? There is only one Waiheke Island, and I love the place. I know that if I owned a boat I’d probably only use it once a month, so gazing out across the water back towards the city of sails, I saw dozens of the blighters and couldn’t help but feel jealous, and annoyed, that I didn’t have one, or know of a person willing to lend me one for an afternoon. So I borrowed a seemingly abandoned canoe and went investigating, navy seal style.

Nicely nudging down Onetangi Beach on a Saturday, the wind at full throttle, the UV factor redlining and my homemade paddle doing an OK job, I decided to land and to go on a bit of a wine trail. I’d been hearing great things for years about Mudbrick Vineyard, so started there. I didn’t want to leave. I’d found heaven. A bottle of Ridgeview Pinot Gris later, my dancing urges began to stir: where else do you go but to Stonyridge Vineyard. Stephen played the host with the most and multi-tasked with the ease of a veteran. The tasting plates were exquisite, my favourite was the red wine marinated salmon, hot smoked over larose barrel shavings, with crayfish bisque and parmesan crème fraîche . We downed many a Fallen Angel bottle of vino in the sun, while toying between dipping in the spa, grooving on the deck and laxing on the sun loungers.

Going to the Russian Ballet, sunburnt and rather tipsy is not ideal, but one thing led to another and I had one of the most cultural experiences of my life; From the beauty of a black cloaked dance to Bolero, to a storming rendition of the cancan led by a drag queen. The dancers were as beautiful as their moves and the skill level was amazing. I counted one dancer doing 30 consecutive pirouettes, all as perfect and graceful as the first. The only gripe was with the venue; the Civic was freezing, so take someone to cuddle up to if you go.

This was turning out to be one marathon day. Norrie’s “A List” website launch at The Late Club was packed when we arrived, wall to wall glamour; so much so I had to head up, and out, regularly for increased air supply and down-time. Extremely jaded I wandered home, past a brawl and a couple of party-goers dressed up as sultans.

Excited, I got up early and headed along to The Copper Room on the North Shore to top up the alcohol in my blood, and view a commanding All Black “W”. I’ll stop there. After the loss-rage subsided, I needed therapy and decided the retail kind would suffice. The Takapuna Bazaar isn’t half bad. I found razor blades at 75% off retail, a cool $4 torch, strawberries and a great ceramic plate and dip bowl set (required for an engagement party later that day).

I’ve been too scared to jump off a bridge for over a decade now and Sunday brunch-time was no exception. While harnessing up it was uncovered I had chipped my hip bone in a recent partying accident; I had wondered why the bruising had half subsided but the foul pain and lump remained. I did get to watch my friends do it though. The AJ Hackett Auckland Harbour Bridge Jump is a rush, or seemed like one from my vantage point. I’m so doing it next time.

Keeping with the ocean theme we snaked it to Piha for Mike and Andrea’s engagement party. Congratulations guys. An hour or 2 of merriment later and it was time for a few ends of lawn bowls. The locals were very helpful with the rules and drinking etiquette, I lost the bowls but won the hot-chip eating competition.