Damn those herbals, they construddled my weekend away. All well and good, and fun at the time, but the following day, woo watch-out. I am sure they have their place with many, but with me, I think I’ll stick to the old faithful: a glass of bubbles, followed by a few beers, some Patron (or Agavero) shots, with a couple of CC & D chasers, topped off by a Corona for good measure, and you are likely to get a similar euphoric feeling anyway.

So with me being away for the climax of the party week it makes it difficult for me to let you know what went on up in the big smoke, luckily I had a few spies out and about to report back. Before I get to that though, some interesting things occurred before I boarded the big korued bird in the sky.

White is supposed to be way up there in the posh restaurant stakes. If I was anyone out there, I’d ask around and find a new place to impress your significant other, Meredith’s perhaps or The French Café. The food wasn’t bad, sparse yet tasty; it was the annoying service and lack of maintenance that wound me up. Being asked every 10 minutes if everything was satisfactory really pissed me off. I begrudgingly was polite, through a clenched smile. Do these serving staff (on a hefty hourly rate) have a personality at all? Or are they the first iRobot prototypes seen in public. While I’m on my high-horse, the table was dusty, chairs worn, lighting stark and those sea-shell pillars have got to go.

We celebrated leaving as soon as possible at The Cowboy bar’s 2nd birthday. A not so big, but atmospheric bar so good it opened a rival next door, called The Indian. It’s a bar with an ingenious marketing ploy, have $2 cowboy hats (of varied colours) readily available for customers to don, and do their level best to sneak out with before security questions you (I have 5 to date). Any day of the week this place is fun, playing music that all generations appreciate. This Wednesday evening was no different, just more people than normal.

The complimentary drinks flowed till well after I departed. But I did have the pleasure of seeing big Kiwi rugby league international, Brent Todd, singing YMCA at full throttle, on the top of the bar. The arms of his sidekicks, April Ieremia and Matthew Ridge weren’t as pliable and the microphone didn’t get near them.

I really thought The Breakers would make it 5 wins on the trot come Thursday evening. They’d beaten the same team by 20 points in Ozzie 4 days prior. I met guide winners Angela (and her 5 year old son Theo attending his first major live sporting fixture) and Nathan, gave them their tickets and went inside to be engulfed by the biggest crowd of the season. Wow, what an atmosphere. Unfortunately after the 2nd quarter we never looked like winning and went down by 25. Feeling blue I flagged the rest of the night’s planned activities.

I left early Friday on flight NZ423 to Wellington, I’d not been down for almost 2 years so was chomping at the bit to see the changes and party. When I realised we’d been given a penthouse upgrade my mood leapt another notch. We bounded out and got the majority of the tourist things out of the way, Parliament and Te Papa etc. At 3pm it was time to toast the onset of the weekend. Tipsy by 5 we ventured out. Green Room, Shed 5 and Macs Brewery were fun, mixing with “the suits” then to Vespa Lounge, Lawton Lounge, Blend, Red Square, Concrete, Mighty Mighty, Matterhorn and finally Sandwiches to see DJ Heather mix up a storm.

This night carried on till mid-morning when we realised it was cable-car time. Luckily the inner city was relatively sedate so we could scurry about without much general public interaction. The $2.50 ride up to the Botanic Gardens/lookout was painless, but the scorching sun at the top wasn’t. Wandering down 1000 odd steps to Kelburn Park we stumbled into the most PC cricket match ever. Imagine 8 year old upper-class boys dressed in full whites, with all the bells and whistles, playing in front of parents with oozing hampers, rimu deck-chairs and titanic sun umbrellas. A boy would get bowled out and he’d be given another go, another boy would conk a boundary and he’d be retired. Where is the justice?

Realising we weren’t in terrific shape, in fact bordering on vomiting, we drifted back to the penthouse and tried to snap out of it.

Sunday morning, feeling marginally better, me lady and I took a ferry to Days Bay, sort of a cross between St Heliers and Waiheke Island. It was just what the doctor ordered. We dozed off and awoke sunburnt when a kid flicked a shell at me. I don’t remember much from then till landing back at Auckland that night, but it was dream-like.

I found Wellingtonians rather trendy friendly folk, even the odd-balls loitering around had something interesting about them for instance a self confessed Maori dressed as a tribal Aborigine busking, or a man doing press-ups with a pot plant on his head for no reason whatsoever. On the pesky side there were hundreds of clip-board cretins pouncing. Catching their eye meant the certain foreclosure of your bank details to save a whale, child or tree.

Even though I was away I hear ALT TV’s Playhouse Bloc Party on Friday was massive. Ridgey and Toddy were seen up to their old tricks again in the Coco bathrooms, toying with illicit substances, the Flight Lounge DJ at 1.30am had obviously had some of those substances as he stopped the music and began yelling. Forte was like a 21st for older kids, crazy music and mixing that was lapped up by the party-people. Friday also housed Tiki Tane at 4:20 and Muse at Trusts Stadium, both achieved sold-out performances. Those in attendance were treated to vintage quality loaded with new material.

Tabu at The Office Bar and Late Club was a hit, with around 500 going through the doors, well done Adam B. Sadly, you could apparently see that The Late Club will remain solely as a venue for individual events, and won’t sustain anything regular, in the short-term at least. The other 2 recommended events on that night were Club Unity and Legends. Unity was the stand out, DJ Klaas from Germany was in a league of his own. He started with his personal remix of Space and the crowd went nuts. The DJs that played around him supported like champions, making him shine like ET’s finger.

Unlike most sequels Legends (the return) at Ink and Coherent was a blast. It filled up early and the crowd stayed late, enjoying house and hip hop classics inside and a warm night with like minded new friends in the Ink courtyard. Highlights were Grant Kearney’s classic house set at Coherent and Ned Roy’s quick fire mix of hip hop anthems at Ink. Grant’s been firing up Auckland’s dance floors for well over a decade and brought a pumping Coherent to a climax with the inevitable Insomnia. Next door at Ink, Ned Roy’s hip hop beats were a pleasant change to Ink’s usual electro house. He had everyone moving to anthems like Humpty Dance and Public Enemy’s Fight the Power, still sounding fresh after 18 years.

JT’s last show was Monday night. Against my will I didn’t get to meet him, but I am in awe of the fellow. I even stayed up well past my bedtime in hope of him turning up at the Official After Party at Bungalow8. He didn’t, but some of his bodyguards, dancers and roadies did, so that was still a thrill, hearing stories about life on the road with The King Of Pop.